Sue Saraswati Merry

The Story Continued
So there I was alone in the Bates Novotel in Cairo. My luggage was missing and all I had was the clothes I was travelling in, a souvenir from Egypt t-shirt, a toothbrush and a hideous pink swimming costume that was haemorrhaging pink dye all over the bathroom. All that was needed to complete the picture was some young guy dressed as his mother wielding a knife, slashing away at the shower curtain.

My Dark Night of the Soul
It seems fairly pathetic in retrospect that I should have been plunged into a crisis just because my luggage was missing, but this is what happened. I tried to sleep but it was proving impossible. My mind was churning over and over, I was formulating contingency plan after contingency plan. I was trying to cover every possible disastrous scenario of where my bag might be and when, if ever, I would see it again. Every time I thought I had settled my mind down, that I had covered all the possibilities, I would remember something else and start again from the beginning. The main problem was the dreadful frustration I was feeling about not being in control of the situation. I had no faith what so ever that anyone at the airport would be efficient and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. This was the crux: there really was absolutely nothing I could do about it.

Of course I knew that the more negative energy and stress I poured into this situation the less likely it became that things would turn out well. But what could I do? It was now quite late and I really needed to sleep, I was absolutely exhausted and facing another long day starting at 3.00am. The situation was made more difficult by the fact that my room overlooked the pool where weird disco music played incessantly. What the bloody hell was going on? What was I doing here? I had been so sure that I was doing the right thing in taking on this trip. I’d spent loads of money that I could ill afford, I’d given up the opportunity to be with people I really love in Assisi, I was taking what should have been an amazing spiritual trip and I felt like poo and just wanted to go home. Pull yourself together girl!

I think that eventually I simply was too tired to resist any longer. Somehow I got myself to the point where I truly let go of the situation. I got myself to the point where I truly surrendered. I decided that there was nothing I could do about my lost bag and that anything could happen and so there was no longer any point in making contingency plans for imagined scenarios. All I could do was to wait and deal with whatever happened in the moment, making the best decision at the time. Interestingly this was not so much an intellectual understanding as an energy shift. As soon as it happened I fell asleep almost at once, it was amazing. The next thing I knew it was 2.45am and I was wide-awake. I decided to use the number I had been given and phone the airport to find out if my bag had turned up. Feeling anxious I picked up my mobile and I dialled the number, there was a discouraging beepy tone followed by a message in Arabic. Oh man! I knew it. Then an English message followed telling me the number I had dialled had not been recognised. I knew this would happen. With little hope I tried variations on the number in case I had misread a 1 as a 7 or whatever. No good. So I started to look for a number for a travel rep. As I did this the bedside phone rang. It was my 3.00am wake-up call. I replaced the handset and it rang again almost immediately. Someone was trying to tell me something about my bag in broken English. Finally they made me understand that the bag was in the hotel reception area and that I needed to come down and sign for it! This was an outcome I had not foreseen or planned for! It was the most unlikely thing of all to have happened. I was beside myself with joy and gratitude. Please fly Alitalia!

It All Makes Sense.
So that was a long story, taking place over 24 hours. I was physically and emotionally drained. But, crucially, I was also enlightened.

How could I expect to embark on a major spiritual adventure and not expect to be challenged? If you want to be a heavy hitter, if you want to play with the big boys you have to be prepared to face up to your vulnerabilities. So I was off to a great start! My crumple buttons had been well and truly pressed. What does it for me? Issues around being late and losing my stuff. All issues to do with control. “Control” is the big word here.

I had to laugh at myself – and it wouldn’t be the last time I did that on the trip. Here was I pontificating about surrender, trust and gratitude, I was even running a workshop with that title. Well they say you tend to teach what you yourself most need to learn, how true. I’d just taken a 24 hour-long master class in the subject! I was soon to realise that this was going to be a feature of the trip. I found that I worked through some of my major vulnerabilities on this trip, all my shit came up in fact, but it was all in a very compact time frame. Stuff that would normally take years to recognise and process, I was zipping through it in a matter of days or hours.

After this salutary experience I was able to let go of my need to control everything. Really. I really, really was. This of course affected and informed the rest of the trip, half the time I didn’t even know where we were going next. This is why I found it easy to let go of my plans for a peace prayers ceremony at the axis of the Christ Consciousness grid. I stopped worrying about coordinating times with Beloveds and friends in the rest of the world. I allowed my intuition to guide me in many things. Guess what? This is still happening.

Post Script
Oddly just as I wrote the last phrase of the previous paragraph my son Arthur appeared at my side. It was 2.10pm and he had just got out of bed (teenagers!). He was not looking bright-eyed and bushy tailed having arrived home around 4.00am this morning after a clubbing trip “Up West” last night. In typical Arthur fashion he reminded me that I’d promised to give him a lift this afternoon and we needed to go NOW. Had he eaten yet? No. How irritating, I was just about to go out and have a swim, go to the bank etc. I looked at what I’d just been writing. I sighed and I sent him to make a sandwich then bundled him into the car and drove him to Wimbledon. I was driving across Wimbledon Common on the way home when, on a whim, I decided to drive to a part of the common I used to go to in order to walk my dog, probably been 18 years since I was last there. I parked my car in the old familiar place and walked a little way into my most usual dog-walk route of old.

I found myself stopping at a spot called Caesar’s Well. This was where my partner Roger and I had sprinkled the ashes of the child we lost in 1986. It is a spot that holds many memories of dog walking and also playing with my daughter Amy in the well itself. I was knocked out by the energy there, it was really, really powerful. I stayed there for quite a while in the end, about an hour. I found myself slipping into an enhanced state of awareness where the trees and the ground itself seemed to pulsate. It was a beautiful experience. So I guess I have to say “Thank you” to Arthur for disrupting my plans for the afternoon thus enabling me to have a magical experience!
Strange but true.
I’m going to post this blog now before anything else happens!

Oh my how I blather on about this. I even run an entire workshop with this as the title. As if I know something about it! Well the Universe has a way of calling your bluff should you be foolish enough to start to pontificate. I have just had a serious knuckle-rapping on the theme of surrender, trust and gratitude. So here is the tale of Ms. Spiritual Big-Shot and her journey to Egypt:

London Heathrow to Milan
One of the many oddities about my recent trip to Egypt was that the group that I travelled and worked with were all from South Africa. This meant that I was the only group member travelling to Egypt from the northern hemisphere. I had to make my own travel arrangements to Cairo. I arranged to arrive at Cairo airport at 14.15 hrs on October 4th where I was to meet with a representative from the travel company (Nile Travel) who would then take me to my hotel near the airport. The group from South Africa were due to arrive in Cairo at 4.00am on the following day. I would be taken to meet them and we would all immediately take a domestic flight south to Aswan and then board the Nile cruiser to sail north again.

I was concerned about these travel arrangements because, aware that I would be arriving alone, I felt the need to have all the Ts crossed and Is dotted to cover possible problems. I was especially concerned about having a contingency plan in place in the event that the travel rep. was not there to meet me. I had been quite pedantic about this with the travel agent before leaving yet still felt that I did not have the full details of where my hotel was and how to contact someone should I need help in Cairo.

So the day arrived and the taxi got me to Heathrow (only about 20mins away) for 04.20hrs. I was flying with the Italian airline Alitalia and my flight was in two stages, the first being from London to Milan, due to leave at 06.00hrs. I would have a short space of about one hour and a half to transfer in Milan to the flight to Cairo. All seemed to be going very well until I got to the boarding gate. It was announced that there was a problem with the aircraft. As the clock ticked down I began to get very concerned that I was going to miss the connecting flight in Milan. This was not a good scenario for several reasons including the fact that the next flight to Cairo was around 23.30hrs. Would I be able to get through to someone at the travel agency in Cairo to warn them that I was going to be arriving 12 hours later than arranged? Would anyone be there to meet me at 2.30am? And so my mind went from possibility to possibility and from contingency plan to contingency plan. But there was nothing at all that I could do except wait. So I waited. As I waited I wondered. This was not a good start to the trip. What was going on here? Surely I was taking the trip I was meant to take? I was clear that this was so for lots of reasons. So why was it immediately difficult? For goodness sake I hadn’t even left the country yet and I was having problems. It didn’t seem quite fair to me.

Finally we took off from London, horribly late. It seemed impossible to me that I would catch the connecting flight as planned. I asked the steward about it and he gave me a glimmer of hope as he explained that the flight from Milan to Cairo might well be delayed as well, so not to give up. I wondered though how there would be time to transfer my luggage from hold to hold. He seemed to think there was a possibility that it might work out and this was quite comforting. But it was not a relaxed flight for me. Once again I was busily engaged in making plans for a variety of scenarios.

We landed in Milan at just about the exact moment the Cairo plane should have been trundling down the runway. I got off the plane as quickly as possible but then had to wait for the whole plane to empty as we had to get into a wretched coach. The coach took us miles across the airport until finally I was able to shove my way past everyone and beetle off to the transfer gates. To my astonishment and delight the Cairo plane was still boarding according to the information screens. Not really believing I would make it I never the less ran with renewed vigour. Amazingly I found a coach still waiting at the boarding gate while some sort of drama was in progress between the lady checking us in and an elderly Arab lady. What luck! I now began to relax. I was going to get the flight after all. Phew.

The next thing that happened was far too extraordinary to be simply a co-incidence. I got off the coach by the front steps to the aircraft. Alitalia give names to their planes and I saw at this point that the plane was called “Piazza di San Francesco Assisi”. I stood there totally stunned with tears welling up in my eyes. Some of you reading this will understand at once why this had such an effect on me. For those who are wondering, Saint Francis of Assisi is very important to those of us who are members of the Beloved Community. www.emissaryoflight.com We often focus on the prayer of St. Francis (“O lord make me an instrument of your peace….”) and his philosophy: to bring peace to all and where necessary to use words, is the philosophy of a Minister of Spiritual Peacemaking. There’s more if you want to look on the above website. However not only this but also Kuthumi, the Ascended Master channelled by the trip leader Michelle, also manifested as St. Francis. I had given up the chance to go on a Beloved Community retreat in Assisi (which had taken place just about 2 weeks before my Egypt trip) in order to go where I was most called at the time. I had been really sad to miss this and had heard all about the trip from my friends before I left London. I felt the plane being named after St. Francis was such a confirmation that I was following the right path.

As I sat on the plane I mused on the message of confirmation I was being given here. I also realised with a jolt that the male and female energies that had been with me the previous week during meditations and healings were St. Francis and St. Clare. OK yes, I realise this sounds a bit nuts but welcome to my world. I had been avoiding personifying or naming these energies but despite this had a very clear visual image of them. Once the obvious hit me I realised I was in for a very powerful trip. But I still wasn’t quite getting it. When you don’t quite get it the Universe will repeat the message louder and louder until you do get it. And so it was.

Cairo
This was my first trip to the continent of Africa and so Cairo was inevitably rather a culture shock. Looking from the plane as we circled before landing I was struck by several things. Especially striking to me was the fact that Cairo is built in the desert. There is sand and wasteland right up to the edge of the city. Also the city is huge and sprawling with hundreds and hundreds of identical apartment blocks.  On stepping off the plane I was struck by the smell first of all. I have no idea what it was but it was a new smell for me and rather unsettling. The next thing I noticed was the surprising humidity, I had expected dry heat.

Oh joy! There was a guy holding a piece of paper with my name scrawled upon it. I had convinced myself he would not be there. He was extremely efficient and guided me through passport control and immigration. I met up with him at the baggage reclaim carousel. I was not really expecting to see my bag and I was not disappointed. Of course it wasn’t on the plane. How could it have been? In my heart I’d known it would not be on the flight but I was still really unhappy when it did not come off the carousel. I was now plunged into a maelstrom of lost bag procedure. These situations are never easy when you are feeling tired so I went as slowly and carefully as possible, trying all the while to anticipate where mistakes or misunderstandings might happen. The next flight from Milan was due to arrive about 02.30hrs. Hopefully my bag would be on this flight because I was due to leave my hotel at 04.00hrs. I did not like this arrangement at all. It seemed to me to be highly unlikely that my bag would catch up with me before I flew to Aswan, assuming it was even on the next flight. I was not happy.

I was taken to my hotel where I had to buy some essential toiletries and a t-shirt and swimming costume. I was so tired and stressed that I didn’t quite realise the extent to which I was ripped off for these until later. I tried to settle myself down by going for a swim. The only costume that was my size was truly hideous. Desperate as I was I bought it anyway and swam up and down the hotel pool, a symphony in fluorescent pink. Presumably I left a pink slick behind me as once the costume got wet it bled pink dye everywhere! Welcome to Egypt Sue!

Coming soon: Part Two, My Dark Night of the Soul! Suddenly it all makes sense.



  

Voice Activations
Why music was appropriate at some sites I do not really understand. It was possibly to do with the connection between music and sacred geometry. There is an extensive explanation of this in Melchizedek’s book “The Ancient Secret of the Flower of Life”. Whatever the reason it sometimes felt like the right thing to do and was then very powerful. I had no preconceptions about any of this really apart from knowing that I needed to take my flute to Egypt. It was quite surprising to me when I began to realise that some sites required vocal music rather than flute music.

Dendera.
Of all the sites we visited this was surely one of the most powerful. Certainly it had an extraordinary effect on me. I first spotted the Temple of Hathour from about one mile away. It had a similar effect on me to Philae in that, even from a distance, I felt a strong reaction in my heart. The coach stopped in the car park outside the temple perimeter and we filed out to the entrance. I immediately noticed that I was having difficulty walking. My legs felt rubbery and my balance was unsteady. Once inside I managed to stay with our guide until we came to a side chamber called The Venerable House. This is a small rectangular chamber with an unusual feature that is a small recessed alcove at the top of the southern wall opposite the entrance. The alcove is accessed by a ladder and illuminated by artificial light. Ancient statues were kept in this room, the most revered statues of Hathour being kept in the upper recess. Once the guide had finished talking and everyone began filing out of the room, I climbed the ladder, followed by Idalize (one of the children). We both sat in the upper recess and I thought about playing my flute. The energy there was so powerful that I was shaking. I felt conflicted. Should I stay with the main group and follow the guide? Was I being rude by so often breaking away from the main group? Several of the group had stayed in the room below but I decided that perhaps I should follow the main group and descended the ladder. I felt shaky and agitated. Then I changed my mind and climbed the ladder again. I took out my flute still feeling very shaky and now breathless as well. I found it difficult to settle and focus. The flute was not really speaking to me but I started to play anyway. It was difficult as my hands were shaking and my breathing was uncontrolled. After I’d been playing for a few seconds something very weird happened. I became aware of the sound of voices harmonising together. It sounded like a heavenly choir! Oh my gosh was this it? Ascension at last? Then I realised that there was a group singing together somewhere else in the temple! I stopped playing, the voices were the best kind of sound here.

After this I wandered around the temple into various rooms. At each one I found something that felt like the right thing to do. In the Sanctuary I sat on the floor and prayed the Peace Prayers. In the Chapel of the New Year I opened myself up and channelled light. I didn’t really know what I was doing, I just let myself be guided by my intuition. Eventually I joined a few others who were with our guide. Someone suggested I visit the crypt. I was reluctant to do this, I wasn’t keen on going underground. There was a wave of insistence that I do this and our guide took me to the spot where I could descend. There was a tiny ladder affair leading to what looked like a hole. I didn’t too much fancy this because I sometimes have nightmares about squeezing myself through narrow gaps – obviously some sort of birth trauma thing! The narrow gap in front of me was exactly the type of thing I dream about. I took off my rucksack and bravely squeezed through the opening. I found myself standing at the mid-way point of a narrow corridor. The whole area was about 30 feet long, if that, and about as wide as a bus-shelter. Mercifully it was very well lit and beautifully decorated but hot and humid. I examined the area to my right in a rather cursory manner as all the time I was feeling on the edge of claustrophobia and telling myself that I didn’t really want to be there. Looking back down the length of the crypt I saw that there were several people at the other end. Some of them I recognised as our group, including Stephan, one of the children. There were two or three people I had never seen before. As I approached they all stood facing the end of the crypt with their hands reaching out from their sides to both sidewalls. This was easy to do as the crypt is so narrow. I stood like this too for a while and became aware of a powerful energy. All thoughts of getting out had flown and I was now enjoying the experience. I had a very strong urge to make a vocal sound. I found myself singing a deep Om. At once the others down there joined in and we were soon harmonising together beautifully. It is an experience I will carry in my heart for the rest of my life. I realise that it may not sound like very much but the feeling while were doing this is indescribable. Suddenly a mixed group of pilgrims came together for a common experience and purpose and made some wonderful music at the same time!

Afterwards the two adults from our group who had been in the crypt for this experience described how Stephan had virtually dragged them both down there. Neither had been keen to go but both had been swayed by his sense of urgency. He later talked about experiencing a light beaming through his body. Both adults said how they, like me, had also had an amazing experience in the crypt.

Giza
I have already written about the voice activations that took place inside the Great Pyramid. This was the other place where vocal music seemed more appropriate and more powerful than flute music. In fact I had no urge at all to play the flute here.

Post Script
We discovered who the celestial singers were at Dendera. They were a group from Germany. Their leader also channels Kuthumi and they were in Egypt on the same mission as us, to activate the sacred sites! Not only this but one of our group, Horst, had been searching for this German lady, the leader of the group, for around a year. So finally he bumps into her at Dendera! You couldn’t make it up.

My Flute
Some of you reading this will know that I own a Native American flute. It is a beautiful instrument both to look at and to listen to. I have an unusual relationship with my flute and I always find it very difficult to explain.
When I was preparing to leave for Egypt I knew that it was essential for me to take the flute. I had no idea where it would want to play; I suppose I fondly imagined chugging along on the Nile cruiser, watching the sunset, the flute playing haunting music….something like that. What actually happened was that there were three sites where the flute was bursting to get out of my bag and one where I took it out anyway but then realised it was voice activation that was needed rather than flute music. The Temples of Philae, Edfu and Hatschepsut were flute places. Dendera and Giza were voice places. (See below for pictures of these temples)

I was totally unprepared for the power that gushes forth from the sacred sites in Egypt. It was very noticeable that different sites affected different members of the group differently. In my case there were a few spots that affected me deeply and often, quite unexpectedly. Mostly these spots were directly connected with the goddess Hathour. Usually I would know as soon as I saw the Temple from a distance that the flute would want to play there. Equally I would usually know if it was not the right place to play. I am completely unable to explain the how and why of this process. This was a problem for me in some ways because I usually only play the flute when it is asking to be played. I do not particularly like to start blowing it in any other circumstance. When it does want to be played it can play quite beautifully and if anyone is around to hear it they will often want me to play again. How can I explain that the music is not really coming from me? I either sound evasive or ridiculously precious. I do not consider my flute to be a performance instrument and it will not play to order. In fact if the circumstances are very wrong it will not play at all! I usually have no memory of what it played after we have finished, although I always really enjoy it at the time. I am often in a deep meditation while playing. I felt uncomfortable sometimes trying to explain to members of the group that the flute would not be playing at a particular place.

Anyway I began to understand that some parts of the activations we were performing involved music. Sometimes it would only be a very short burst of flute music required. Perhaps if I describe the occasions when it played for me in Egypt I can get you to understand how we work together.


Philae
The first temple that we visited was the Temple of Philae, dedicated to the goddess Isis. The approach to this temple is via the water. As our boat sailed around to the dock I looked up and caught sight of a small area of the temple courtyard dedicated to Hathour. There were several pillars decorated with the face of the goddess (we were to see this again and again at some of the other temples). I had a strong and very unexpected emotional response to this. It was almost as if someone had reached into my chest and squeezed my heart.

The dock where the boat was landing was in complete chaos. Many similar boats were trying to dock all at once, pushing and shoving each other out of the way to achieve this. Tourists were trying to get on or off boats and being funnelled along a tiny, precarious looking, pontoon & gangplank. Talk about an accident waiting to happen! All through this madness I was being pulled towards the temple by my heart. After an age I was finally ashore. I had no interest in where we were supposed to be gathering or in the rest of the group at this point. I had to get to this little area in the corner of the huge courtyard where I had seen Hathour faces. Despite the fact that the whole area was awash with swarms of people the area I had spotted from the water was deserted. There was also a little shade there (it was stonkingly hot and exposed otherwise). I sat down in the shade right in the very corner and looked up at the column opposite to me into the face of Hathour.(That is the picture at the start of this blog) On my right was the perimeter wall and then the water. I went into a deep meditative state while still being aware of what was going on around me. Michelle http://www.lightweaver.com/ and the rest of the group appeared and she spoke for a while and then our guide did his thing. I listened to pretty much nothing of what he said. All I wanted was for him to move on so I could play my flute. I was to come to understand eventually that the flute would want to be played at the sites connected to Hathour. I cannot remember it wanting to play anywhere else on the whole trip.

The group began to drift away and I pulled out my flute and started to play. It always amazes me how the flute just takes over and different music comes from it every time. I never remember what it plays but I did have an awareness that it sounded especially beautiful in this stunning location. Later in the week one of the group, Horst, told me he’d recorded some of it and let me listen. It was indeed really beautiful. After playing the flute I drifted out of meditation and finally found the group again.

Edfu
At the Temple of Horus in Edfu I drifted away from the group looking for a particular chamber in which to play my flute. We had visited this chamber as a group about half an hour before and it had seemed to me to be depicting the merging of the Divine Masculine with the Divine Feminine in perfect balance. This is a very large temple and contains many chambers inside. All seem to be identical in size (roughly 3m x 6m) but each has unique wall carvings. I couldn’t find this chamber again but was strongly pulled into a different chamber that I hadn’t noticed before. All the carvings on the walls were defaced but there seemed a strong energy. I sat on the floor and meditated for a while, it really was a powerful room. Then I pulled out the flute and it started to play. I have no idea what it played now but at the time I was amazed at the sound it was making. I have never heard it play like that before. It was a brilliant experience. I wish I had a recording of it because now I can’t remember a note but I can remember how I felt while it was playing and I think it must have sounded wonderful. It was almost as if that chamber had been specifically designed for that music. I finished and put my flute away. When I left the chamber I was aware that the guards were scampering around trying to find where the music was coming from, I guessed it was because they wanted to stop me.

Incidentally when I was back on the boat I picked up my guidebook intending to read about the Temple of Horus. There are very few photographs in the book but there was a small photo of the chamber I had found with the defaced figures. Of course they were Hathours. This was just one of so many synchronous things that happened during the week.

Hatshepsut
We visited this temple directly after The Valley of the Kings. We were already hot and tired. You can probably see from the photo below that it was in a very exposed position and the heat was fierce. One or two of the adults in the group were really struggling and the children Idalize and Stephan found it very tough going here. There was almost nowhere to stand that was not being blasted by the full force of the sun. When you look at the photo of this temple you might noice that to the left of the picture there is a section of the temple with no roof (just above the head of the figure in the foreground). This was the area dedicated to Hathour and the part of the temple where the flute wanted to play. A few of the group sat around with me as I played. Not long after I started I became aware of one of the guards making noises somewhere on my right. I guessed they were going to try and stop me playing so I ignored it and carried on. He went to fetch a guard who could speak English who was soon saying “No, no, please…”etc. Again I ignored him until the flute had finished. It meant I only played for a short while but it was enough to accomplish whatever it was I had to do there. It would have been nice to have carried on longer as, once again, the flute sounded good in that spot.

I was interested in the reactions the flute was provoking. I was also interested in my reaction. I felt no anger or resentment what so ever. I felt quite sorry for these guys who were confused and frightened by the music and also probably quite scared that they might lose their jobs, which was probably a real possibility. The incident brought up quite a bit of anger for one member of the group which was a great learning opportunity for her to take. I was also reminded about how threatening the Divine Feminine can be! No wonder they set about defacing us!

Temple of Isis, Philae

Temple of Horus, Edfu

Temple of Hatshepsut

The Temple of Hathour, Dendera

Each of you are great lights, you are beacons, you are leaders therefore, go forth and lead your life. Remember to lead a life does not mean that you have to control others. Leading your life means that you ensure that your actions, your words and your thoughts are impeccable, that everything you look at, you see through the eyes of God, that everything you embrace you embrace through the arms of God, that your love be unconditional, that your observations be unconditional and that all that you come to be with, you come to be with, with sincerity. If you find yourself in the presence of conflict, in the presence of someone whom you feel uncomfortable with, even in that moment of experiencing negativity or discomfort, you can still be impeccable in your actions and with grace, with devotion, with light and sincerity, you can step into the power of your light, turn from the darkness and walk away, leaving a seed of light within the world of darkness you have turned away from. Do you all understand this?


Taken from a Kuthumi channeling through Michelle Eloff

Thanks to Craig

Please bear with me when you read this blog. I am working out an aspect of my trip as I write and it might not yet be totally coherent. I know I’m on to something here but I don’t think it has fully revealed itself to me yet!

Before I left for the trip to Egypt I became aware of a feeling of strong connection to the goddess Hathour (see the picture). She basically represents the Divine Feminine qualities of compassion, intuition etc. Essentially the same type of stuff we associate with Venus, Athena, Mary Magdalene and so on. Those of us involved with the Beloved Community feel that the time is now here for the Divine Feminine to reassert itself.

What I came to eventually realise was that one of my jobs on this trip was to connect with and reactivate feminine energy at certain relevant places.
As a Minister of Spiritual Peacemaking I work at embodying peace, compassion, unconditional love consciousness, gentleness, intuition and light. There are certain energy hot spots for these qualities. In modern day Egypt the feminine in society seems to be repressed. It was very noticeable for example how few women there were out and about. In Aswan I saw hardly any women anywhere and all the services on our Nile crusier and at our hotels were provided by men. At many of the sites we visited faces and figures of Hathour were defaced. Seems like there is great fear created by the Divine Feminine. I began to realise that I am one of those able to bring Divine Feminine qualities into this area of the world where they were once respected and cultivated and where there are hot spots connected to this. In so doing I was being used to help reactivate the light connected to these qualities to release this energy out into our personal and collective energy grids.

NB: Can I just say right now that if anyone has even the remotest idea of what I am talking about here please can they explain it to me?

The Power of Sekhmet
There is another aspect to the Divine Feminine that only began to dawn on me right at the end of the trip, at Giza in fact.
I doubt if I will ever understand with my conscious mind all that was going on in the King’s Chamber, but when I came out something opened up for me that I hadn’t thought about before.

I have begun to recognise the power aspect of the Divine Feminine. Some of this led me onto some of the realisations I’ve had about leadership, which I will write about later.

When we visited the temple of Karnak our guide took us to a far corner of the complex where, behind a closed door we visited a beautiful statue of Sekhmet. One of the group had been asked by Kuthumi to perform a ritual there. Now I’ll put my cards down on the table here immediately and say that I actually know very little about Egyptian leaders and gods etc. I came away from this trip not having learned very much either simply because I very rarely listened to anything the guide told us. I was having a very right brain experience at these places and looking for space and silence the whole time. So as I understood it Sekhmet is a goddess of war. This didn’t really appeal to me so I took part I the ceremony but held myself back a bit I now realise. It was later that Sekhmet began to get to me.

One thing I have absorbed is that the gods are personifications of certain qualities. Looking at my copy of John Anthony West’s excellent book “The Traveller’s Key to Ancient Egypt” I see he has some interesting things to say about Sekhmet (I really should pay more attention):
“Sekhmet had both beneficent and maleficent aspects. She was associated both with healing and with disease.
War was waged under Sekhmet’s aegis. She inspired both reverence and fear. She is usually portrayed as a woman with exposed breasts and the head of a lioness; but on occasion she has an ithyphallic male body.”

Sounds like a high-maintenance friend to me.
For me Sekhmet embodies the female aspect of power. Actually I wrote that sentence and much of the rest of this blog before reading West’s description quoted above. His description makes even more sense of what I am grappling with here. Because I am grappling with this stuff. I’m not writing this because I think I’ve got any answers or any profound insights. I’m making it up as I go along and trying to make sense of it all.

So, why did this feminine power aspect thing particularly become relevant to me? It was in Giza that I realised that the strong masculine energy of the Great Pyramid has an equally strong feminine aspect and that I was experiencing this feminine aspect as well in the King’s Chamber.
This power I am referring to is not an aggressive power governed by lust consciousness. It is an assertive power. It is the energy that drives change forward. It is the energy that provides a type of centred strength that is important as a platform for providing support to others. It is also important to be centred and strong in order to be able to step out on your own path to peace, especially at times when the way forward is hidden. It is a force that is born from love as opposed to the masculine power which is a force born from fear. I want to say right here that I am talking about forces here and that both men and women manifest both of these forces. I know women who mainly manifest masculine power and I know men who mainly manifest feminine power. I am not talking about a boys v. girls thing specifically but a love v. fear thing. This stuff can be quite complex. In sacred geometry every male spiral, for example, has a complementary female spiral which has a complementary male spiral which has a complementary female spiral .. ad infinitum. All forces and shapes exist simultaneously one after the other. (STOP Sue!)

So the inner truth I am playing with right now, and having lots of fun, concerns power and its various manifestations. As usual I don’t really have any answers, just more and more questions!

Before I left for Egypt I had been very unclear about how we were going to get to the Christ Consciousness grid axis point and at what time. One of the big lessons for me about this trip, which started even before I left Heathrow, was to do with surrendering control (more on this another time – it’s a good story!). So when I finally got to ask our trip leader Michelle Eloff about when we might be at the grid I was fine with the information that she had no idea either, apart from the fact that it would be on Monday 10/10/05.

I have been on such a journey, physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. By the time we actually got to the Giza Plateau I had let go of all my attempts to co-ordinate anything at a specific time. I had also surrendered to the fact that we were very unlikely to make it to the grid access point at all. Also, by now I had planted the peace prayers in several other places. So, bearing all this in mind let me tell you the story of what happened at Giza:

The Great Pyramid of Cheops

I wonder if there is any other man-made building in the world that has had so much written about it, that has generated so much speculation? Before we got there I had almost written it off as being “over-done”. From the outside it is certainly impressive. It really is big and you can only marvel at how on earth they managed to build it at all.

There are currently only 100 tickets a day sold that allow access to the interior of this pyramid. Our guide, Abdallah, made sure we arrived before the complex opened. He got the tickets we needed to access the actual plateau then the coach drove to another ticket office and we all piled off in double quick time and ran as fast as we could to buy a ticket to the Great Pyramid interior. I got the first ticket of the day! I took that as a good omen and resisted the temptation to hang on to it for half an hour and then sell it on at huge profit to an American tourist.

My original intention regarding the peace ceremony was that I would put on my minister’s stole, use spikenard and frankincense oil and also play my flute, as well as reciting the peace prayers plus the prayer of St. Francis. All these items were in my rucksack. On the way in to the pyramid I had to leave my rucksack at the door. I hesitated and considered making a fuss about it and then I decided that I would go with this and trust my intuition.

Ascending to the King’s Chamber

I tell you seriously that this is not for the faint-hearted! At first there is an easy, quite roomy passageway that was forced through the rock in the ninth century. Soon though you come to the passages that were cut by the pyramid builders themselves. On your left, and blocked off by a gate, is the original entrance passage descending from the true entrance ( I wish we could have gone in this way). This passage continues on down below where you stand to a chamber deep beneath the pyramid – I would really like to go down here. Of course this is also blocked off. So the only way is up, up through a very narrow, low passageway called the Ascending Passage. It is impossible to stand up so you have to squat. The angle of ascent is 26 degrees and the passage is 39 metres long. It is gloomy, hot and very humid and there are people in front and behind of you. It seems to go on forever. I found the best way to cope was to leave a gap between myself and the person in front and not to look up ahead or behind until I was nearly at the top. I kept telling myself that the passage changed soon and opened up (at this point I was glad I’d studied a few books before I went. If I’d thought the passage carried on like this right to the top I might have lost the plot here!).
Just when it became almost unbearable the passage emerged into a higher passageway. Carrying straight on ahead, and via another tiny passage would have lead to the Queen’s Chamber. Disappointingly a gate also blocked this. So the only way was up again. However this part of the ascent was via the much larger Grand Gallery. Stunning. As I was walking up here I actually said the word “Ascension” and thought of my friend Christina who was half convinced I was not going to be coming back from Egypt in my human body! But it did feel like ascension. Again this was a long, steep climb and all the time it seemed to be getting, hotter, more humid and more airless. At the top one had to squeeze through another tiny doorway (more re-birthing trauma!) until finally emerging into the King’s Chamber.

In the King’s Chamber

Most of the group I was with were already here, including Michelle and Arend’s tiny children – how did they get them up the Ascending Passage? My first overwhelming feeling was that I was unable to breathe. The chamber was full, hot, humid and airless and I was out of breath and perspiring from the effort of getting there. I would say don’t even think about going into this pyramid unless you are fairly fit!

My second impression was that I was in a very powerful place indeed – I almost said “holy” but I don’t use that word (!) The room itself is basically a dark, granite rectangular box10.5 x 5.2 metres. No windows or decoration of any sort. It is constructed from huge granite blocks and conforms to the proportion known as the golden section or Φ. There is much written about the dimensions of this chamber and their significance I am not going into that stuff here as it is a very big subject. http://www.floweroflife.org/articles.htm is a good starting point.

The lightweaver group I was with were by now mostly gathered around the one object in the room. This is a granite sarcophagus without a lid. Everyone was chanting Om and harmonising together beautifully with their hands placed on the sarcophagus. When I think back now I find it difficult to chart the sequence of events in that room with any accuracy. I was aware that sometimes the room was quite full, but mostly our group dominated the space. Many people found it too overwhelming to stay there for more than a few minutes possibly because of the humidity, possibly the power of the space. I remember sometimes standing with the group and joining the singing, and other times I doing my own thing.

I knew that the sarcophagus had been moved from its original position in the room. I believe that different reasons are given for doing this. In “The Ancient Secret of the Flower of Life”, Drunvalo Melchizedek suggests that this is because visitors to the room were lying down in the sarcophagus and have weird experiences. He says that this is because a powerful line of energy comes up through the floor at a 45 degree angle precisely at the point where your head would be should you be lying the right way round in the sarcophagus. I decided to try to find this energy spot. I found a place that felt very energised to me and stood there for some time with my peace prayer beads in my hand. I went into a very deep meditation, my hands shaking with the power going through me. It was a distinctly male energy. At some point one of the children led me back to the sarcophagus to join with the rest for a while as group members were now taking it in turns to lie down in the sarcophagus. I went back to the power spot and sat down on the floor this time. I can’t recall when, but I performed the peace ritual – without props(!) - all by myself because it felt like the right thing to do. I also activated my Mer-Ka-Ba light energy field and visualised myself travelling up and hovering above the apex of the Great Pyramid. (OK here’s something really weird for those brave enough to still be reading this……… I feel as if I am still there in that form – I warned you it was weird!) I have no idea how much time passed during all of this. Finally the energy was stirred a little by three visitors who had strong reactions to what we were doing. (Actually I have to say how amazing it was that quite a few people joined in with us in different ways, fantastic.) As I mentioned I was bit zoned out much of the time, but I suddenly became aware of voices raised in anger. I heard one guy saying loudly to members of the group, “ This is a once in a life-time trip, I may never come here again and I am disappointed. This is not what I was expecting.” Imagine going to possibly the hottest hot spot on the planet and being disappointed! Imagine being upset that it did not conform to your expectations! I wondered what his expectations had been. Whatever they were he was certainly very limited by them.

Finally there were only a few of us left in the chamber. I decided that I had finished my business there and I now wanted to descend again and take a better look at the Grand Gallery and the entrance to the Queen’s Chamber, so I left.

But what an experience, what an experience. If you get the chance to do this then go. But go with a group of nutty lightworkers, that way you can dominate the space with light and silence (or chanting) to override the visitors who chat loudly and tick this site off along with the Valley of the Kings etc. before rushing on to the next thing. It is a sacred, sacred space and should be treated as such. But be careful, take only an open, compassionate heart and leave your fear at the door with your camera!

Here I am back from Egypt. I am still processing some of the things that happened while I was there. I returned home and immediately collapsed with a condition known as “The Pharaoh’s Revenge”. Believe me, this is one Egypt experience you do not want to have!

I am beginning to feel human again today, hence the fact that I am at the computer. I have to admit though that this wretched condition has been something of a blessing in disguise. I have to be really unwell to actually stop and go to bed. So I have been unable to do anything other than think for the past 48 hours or so. This means I have had some time to start to process my experiences.

I have to tell you that this was a remarkable trip and I cannot imagine that I will be able to do justice to it here. There are things that are beyond explanation sometimes. However I will try my best and also include some pictures.

Please bear with me while I get back to full strength, I know many of you are really curious to know about how my peace ritual went in particular. Even though that was chronologically at the end of the trip I will write about that first either later tonight or tomorrow.

Many blessings to the many people who joined me energetically on Monday, we did a great job folks!

Tomorrow morning I am off to Egypt. I have been called to this part of the world since childhood especially to the Giza area. Earlier this year I described to a friend exactly the trip I wanted to go on: not a regular type of tour, something with a group of lightworkers, visiting some of the sacred sites and meditating/channelling/activating light. That sort of thing.
So once again, ask and you will receive (this does work), a few days after verbalising what I wanted I got it. My dear friend Maryanne, one of the beloveds in Ireland, sent me an email from Michelle Eloff http://www.thelightweaver.co.za/ advertising exactly the trip I had asked for. Exactly the trip I had asked for. Despite the fact that this would mean I would now be unable to fulfil my commitment to the seminary programme this year (I am supposed to attend a Beloved Community retreat) http://www.emissaryoflight.com/ I just had to go. I could hardly ask for something and then turn it down when it was offered to me.

Why?
But why am I going really? Why am I so drawn to Egypt and Greece? Well I can come up with lots of reasons, some left brain, some right brain. But I’ve always known about this trip that there was something else, a very specific reason for my going.

Thursday 29th September
So this was a very odd day. So odd that I chose not to blog it at the time. I had a couple of weird experiences (even weirder than usual) that have rather shifted me. There is no way I am going to tell the whole story here a. it is far too long and b. you really would think I‘ve lost my mind! Here is an edited version:
In the morning I was working with someone, I was channelling healing energy. I was in a deep place. I became aware of two very beautiful energies, one female and one male there with me and me there in the middle, neutral. All joined together and all separate, within and without.
Later that day a very powerful healer friend was working with me. She was channelling energy my way and I was sitting in a chair. I immediately went into a very deep, but very conscious, meditation. My body was heavy and I was deeply relaxed but my brain was alert and I was aware of my surroundings. Very, very clearly I was given two important pieces of information. One concerned what my third workshop in the path to peace series would actually be – more on this another time. The other piece of information concerned my trip to Egypt. I was told what I have to do there and I hope you will help me with this.

The Unity Consciousness Grid
If you are into sacred geometry Egypt is the place to visit. One of the many amazing things that happens there is the emergence of the Unity or Christ Consciousness Grid. http://www.floweroflife.org/articles.htm Try this link as a start for more info on this subject. There’s a great article called “The Christ Grid” here are a few quotes:
“For those who are new to sacred geometry, let me first say that grids are expressions of energy and consciousness that follow proportions defined by principles of sacred geometry and they span the entire multidimensional universe.”

“So the grid of the planet is an actual geometric and energetic expression of the principles of creation that can serve as a bridge between our planet's physical and energetic manifestations.”

My job is to go to the source of this grid in Giza (or as near as I can get) and to energetically put the Peace Prayers into it.

The Peace Prayers
We use these as a powerful focus in the Beloved Community http://www.emissaryoflight.com/_.aspx?content=peaceprayers&t_t=6
These prayers come from the twelve major religions of the world. On October 28, 1986, the leaders of these religions came to Assisi, Italy, the home of St. Francis, to offer the prayers of peace from their traditions.

When I get to the correct spot I will perform a simple ritual to enable the prayers to energise the Grid. As we are all connected to the Unity Consciousness Grid the prayers must then become a part of us all. As a matter of fact I’ve no idea if that will happen or not, I simply know that I have a job to do and this is it!

How You Can Help
Join me in this ritual. I will be doing this at some time on Monday 10th Oct (10/10/05 – interesting numbers!). I am not sure exactly when. However because of time differences around the world it would probably be very difficult to coordinate in real time anyway. I will try to post to this blog while I am away and give a more accurate time window. However that might not be possible so here is my suggestion, we can do this whatever happens: I will perform the ritual whenever I can and I will send text messages to a few friends at the time if possible. Other than this I would ask you to tune in energetically with your focus on the peace prayers, or just on peace if you prefer, at these specific times. I will tune in too and recite the prayers no matter where I am at the time.
Cairo Time Zone (ONE hour ahead of GMT): 12.00 noon. And again at 19.00hrs. So the times I am suggesting are local times Cairo - you will have to check your time zone http://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/ At these times I will recite the peace prayers wherever I am. If you have peace beads or anything similar, crystals etc., leave them outside or near a window from midnight Sunday through to midnight Monday so they can absorb the energy we put into the Grid very directly.
When I get to the Grid I will perform the following ritual – there may be changes of course if I get any more info channelled my way in the interim. Please think about performing this ritual yourselves at some time on Monday. Remember that the most important thing here is that, what ever you choose to do, you open your heart and allow the flow of divine love through you and of you.

Peace Ritual at the Christ Consciousness Grid 10/10/05
We enter now into the Sacred Office Of Peace

Hindu Prayer
Oh God, lead us from the unreal to the Real.Oh God, lead us from darkness to light.Oh God, lead us from death to immortality.Shanti, Shanti, Shanti unto all.

Buddhist Prayer
May all beings everywhere plagued with sufferings of body and mind quickly be freed from their illnesses.May all beings swiftly attain Buddhahood.

Zoroastrian Prayer
We pray that understanding will triumph over ignorance,
that generosity will triumph over indifference,that trust will triumph over contempt,and that truth will triumph over falsehood.

Jainist Prayer
Peace and universal love is the essence of all the Gospels.Forgive do I creatures all,and let all creatures forgive me.

Jewish Prayer
Oh come let us go up to the mountain of the Lord,that we may walk the paths of the Most High.And we will beat our swords into ploughsharesand our spears into pruning hooks.
Nation shall not raise up sword against nation,
Neither shall they study war anymore.
And none shall be afraid,
For the mouth of the Lord of Host has spoken.

Shinto Prayer
We earnestly wish that the wind will soon puff awayall the clouds hanging over the tops of the mountains.

Native African Prayer
For you are one who does not hesitate to respond to our call, you are the cornerstone of peace.

Native American Prayer
Give us the wisdom to teach our children to love,to respect and to be kind to one another,so that we may grow with peace in mind.

Muslim Prayer
Praise be to the Lord of the Universe,who has created us and made us into tribes and nationsthat we may know each other,not despise each other.

Baha'i Prayer
Be a breath of life unto the body of humankind,a dew upon the soil of the human heart,and a fruit upon the tree of humility.

Sikh Prayer
Know that we attain God when we love,and only that victory endures in consequence of whichno one is defeated.

Christian Prayer
Love your enemies,do good to those who hate you,bless those who curse you,pray for those who abuse you.Blessed be the Peacemakers,for they shall be called the Children of God.

Kuthumi’s Prayer
I am light. I am of light. In light I stand and through light I serve.
I am love. I am of love. In love I stand and through love I serve.
I am all that I am.
So it is.So it shall be.
Om. Shanti. Peace.