Saturday, November 05, 2005
In a Nutshell
So it is now one month since I embarked upon my trip to Egypt. I feel its time to give myself an overview of the trip as a whole.
The Main Issues
The main issues that came up for me were: control, surrender, trust and gratitude, integrity, vulnerability, leadership, power, discernment and humility.
Last night I read the transcript of the Kuthumi channelling www.lightweaver.co.za that took place on the Saturday before we left for Egypt. Much of the first part describes how the karmic pattern that members of the group are ending is related to issues of control. Kuthumi says: “All of you will be faced with the aspect of yourself that chooses to try and control.” When I arrived in Egypt I had not yet heard this channelling. When I did finally get to listen to a recording that Conrad had made on his iPod I had to laugh. You may remember my adventures on my journey from home with a delayed flight and a lost bag. My dark night of the soul in Cairo was all about my frustration and fear at my loss of control. Finally I understood the meaning of surrender, trust and gratitude:
Surrender means dealing with each moment as it arises and following your truth in that situation. In other words not making endless contingency plans – letting go of control. Trusting that you will be able to do this because you will always be guided and protected for your higher good. Expressing Gratitude for the protection and guidance that you receive, for your connection to the divine.
Integrity was another major issue for me in Egypt; the attributes of vulnerability, leadership, power and discernment were all connected to this. This is still very much a current issue for me and of course whenever something is uppermost you can guarantee that the Universe will contribute fully to light the way. Here are some quotes about integrity from a book I’m reading at the moment called “The Gentle art of Blessing” by Pierre Pradevand:
“Integrity is a quality of being. It is holding on to that which you know to be your highest sense of truth and vision at all times, whatever the cost. It is resonating with that deepest fibre of your being which urges you to peacefully but firmly hold your ground whatever the supposed prestige of the authority or person opposing you – not out of stubbornness, but prompted by the quiet daring of that inner urge in you which says:
‘ This above all: to thine own self be true.’
It means following your highest sense of right at all times,……..”
“Above all integrity means refusing to cheat yourself, to lie to yourself, or abide the doubtful shadow of half-truths……….when you lie to yourself , who is there to forgive you?….who will pick you up?……….Then only grace can save you.”
This last quote resonates deeply. This was the dark blockage in the heart chakra of our tour guide. This was the path that I was tempted to follow until I remembered my angel card and asked for help. Once I decided to follow the path of integrity the mists cleared, so to speak. My confusion and indecision ended to be replaced by simple clarity.
Where am I now?
I feel in a very different place to where I was before the trip. I feel very centred and strangely calm. For most of this year I had a strange feeling, almost a sense of foreboding about the autumn. It was very difficult to explain. My feeling was that there was some sort of big shift coming which would challenge me significantly and that I would need a fair amount of free time to deal with it. I found it very difficult to book anything into my schedule and still cannot even contemplate booking in anything that would be difficult or costly to cancel e.g. mind, body & spirit-type shows.
I have no doubt that my experiences recently in Egypt constitute the seismic shift I saw coming for all those months. Right now I feel that I am in a phase of integration although I am not really completely aware of what is being integrated! When I recovered from the Pharoah’s Revenge I had an explosion of mental activity where I needed to sort and file all my experiences, hence all the blogging. Now however I feel more like lying down in a darkened room to let whatever needs to happen happen! The last few meditations and healings I’ve participated in have been very powerful and I’ve gone off into some very deep place. I learned from someone that if your light body is off doing stuff you tend to feel suddenly rather blasted. I’ve been having that experience recently on emerging from a meditation or healing. So if you see me hanging around anywhere etheric do let me know won’t you?
The Main Issues
The main issues that came up for me were: control, surrender, trust and gratitude, integrity, vulnerability, leadership, power, discernment and humility.
Last night I read the transcript of the Kuthumi channelling www.lightweaver.co.za that took place on the Saturday before we left for Egypt. Much of the first part describes how the karmic pattern that members of the group are ending is related to issues of control. Kuthumi says: “All of you will be faced with the aspect of yourself that chooses to try and control.” When I arrived in Egypt I had not yet heard this channelling. When I did finally get to listen to a recording that Conrad had made on his iPod I had to laugh. You may remember my adventures on my journey from home with a delayed flight and a lost bag. My dark night of the soul in Cairo was all about my frustration and fear at my loss of control. Finally I understood the meaning of surrender, trust and gratitude:
Surrender means dealing with each moment as it arises and following your truth in that situation. In other words not making endless contingency plans – letting go of control. Trusting that you will be able to do this because you will always be guided and protected for your higher good. Expressing Gratitude for the protection and guidance that you receive, for your connection to the divine.
Integrity was another major issue for me in Egypt; the attributes of vulnerability, leadership, power and discernment were all connected to this. This is still very much a current issue for me and of course whenever something is uppermost you can guarantee that the Universe will contribute fully to light the way. Here are some quotes about integrity from a book I’m reading at the moment called “The Gentle art of Blessing” by Pierre Pradevand:
“Integrity is a quality of being. It is holding on to that which you know to be your highest sense of truth and vision at all times, whatever the cost. It is resonating with that deepest fibre of your being which urges you to peacefully but firmly hold your ground whatever the supposed prestige of the authority or person opposing you – not out of stubbornness, but prompted by the quiet daring of that inner urge in you which says:
‘ This above all: to thine own self be true.’
It means following your highest sense of right at all times,……..”
“Above all integrity means refusing to cheat yourself, to lie to yourself, or abide the doubtful shadow of half-truths……….when you lie to yourself , who is there to forgive you?….who will pick you up?……….Then only grace can save you.”
This last quote resonates deeply. This was the dark blockage in the heart chakra of our tour guide. This was the path that I was tempted to follow until I remembered my angel card and asked for help. Once I decided to follow the path of integrity the mists cleared, so to speak. My confusion and indecision ended to be replaced by simple clarity.
Where am I now?
I feel in a very different place to where I was before the trip. I feel very centred and strangely calm. For most of this year I had a strange feeling, almost a sense of foreboding about the autumn. It was very difficult to explain. My feeling was that there was some sort of big shift coming which would challenge me significantly and that I would need a fair amount of free time to deal with it. I found it very difficult to book anything into my schedule and still cannot even contemplate booking in anything that would be difficult or costly to cancel e.g. mind, body & spirit-type shows.
I have no doubt that my experiences recently in Egypt constitute the seismic shift I saw coming for all those months. Right now I feel that I am in a phase of integration although I am not really completely aware of what is being integrated! When I recovered from the Pharoah’s Revenge I had an explosion of mental activity where I needed to sort and file all my experiences, hence all the blogging. Now however I feel more like lying down in a darkened room to let whatever needs to happen happen! The last few meditations and healings I’ve participated in have been very powerful and I’ve gone off into some very deep place. I learned from someone that if your light body is off doing stuff you tend to feel suddenly rather blasted. I’ve been having that experience recently on emerging from a meditation or healing. So if you see me hanging around anywhere etheric do let me know won’t you?
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Very interesting blog. I think you would find mine interesting as well... please visit it.
Peace!
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Peace!
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